Farewell, 2015!

In just two days, the year 2015 will draw to a close. It's amazing how fast time flies and I honestly can't believe that we've made it through another calendar year. My life during 2015 has definitely had some interesting experiences. All of these experiences have helped me to grow as a better individual and human being. It's so funny to sit and think where I was this time last year. On New Years Eve of 2014, I was working at the Augusta Country Club as a server, and we almost missed the clock striking twelve, but I made it home at eleven fifty P.M. This year I celebrated my 20th birthday, with my best friend Madison casually making an appearance from Atlanta. I was rehired as a Lead Orientation Leader and completed another summer helping introduce new students to now Augusta University. I relocated to Statesboro, Georgia and started my new journey as an Apparel Design Student at Georgia Southern University. I bonded with students and even two designers from Season 14 of Project Runway, and I've been to four weddings in four months, three of whom were my cousin's ceremonies. Let's just say that 2015 has been an amazing year.

Over the course of this year, I have developed a new respect for certain things that I really didn't think mattered or ever had any care for. For instance, I have been known for my carefree personality, however during this year I have made some decisions that just weren't smart, as we all do, however these decisions almost cost me friendships. During this year, I have truly understood what people say when they mean that words can hurt. Not just because of the things that I've said, but because of things that have been said about me. I know now to never point a finger at someone else, because ten of the same fingers can be pointed right back at you. My witty tongue has definitely gotten me in some trouble over the years, so I've now learned to be wise with the words that I speak, as opposed to just being harsh. Being that I'm the oldest child, I never realized how even my own words and opinions affected my siblings, until they finally told me, and I was hurt because I didn't want to think of myself in the regard that they were speaking of, but you live and you learn and grow from it all.

One thing that I've gained from 2015 is the gift of honesty. I have definitely changed from the people pleaser personality that I used to have, and I've traded it in for a personality that's not opposed to giving constructive criticism, and expecting it back. In the "real world", especially the world of fashion, there is no sugar coating anything. What needs to be said is said regardless of personal emotions or feelings, and I have thankfully adopted that, with a special exception of course. My parents always taught me to be tactful in the words that I speak, so that's what I try to accomplish. I want people to understand that I care with my words, not that I'm trying to bash them or tear them down, because that's honestly not my intention. My intention is to always try and uplift someone, and hope for that in return.

In 2016, I want to be better, holistically. The main ways, however, are financially and physically. Everyone always says that they want to spend money better and get in better shape, well give me a robe and put me in the choir because I'm one of those people. It's funny how life is such a domino affect, because whether you know it or not, everything you do effects something else. In 2015, my move to Statesboro saw that I stopped training with Jackson, and so that means that the attention to detail that I was under with him also went away. I am going to do everything I can to live a healthier lifestyle in 2016. Georgia Southern has an amazing recreational facility and I will definitely be frequenting them more now that I know campus and can get around Statesboro a lot better. I have realized that most of my financial woes have to do with food. Unfortunately, when you're in the sewing lab until Midnight some nights, your only option is to go get a burger from McDonald's or a tray from Cookout. Once bi-weekly is ok, but when you start going every night, it truly doesn't do anything for you but make you more tired, more agitated, more hungry and more B R O K E. I always look at my past to see ways that I can change for the better, or find ways that I need to get back to and being fiscally responsible is definitely one of them. When I was 17, I used to HATE spending money, you could barely get me to buy anything, let alone a meal at a fast food restaurant. I really want to get back to that in 2016, because I honestly had money to save and money to enjoy my life. My physical health has always been an issue for me, and I really have seen some ways that I can change in 2016. From preparing my meals, to planning a scheduled time to exercise, I see ways to be healthier and they don't cause me anymore stress.

You never know how you behave in a certain situation until you acutally go through it. I have been dealing emotionally with some unnecessary baggage that comes from me not living for myself. As everyone does, I have truly sought companionship in 2015, and while it hasn't come to me,  I feel myself questioning a realtionship that I'm in now. I have to come to grips with the fact that me and this person might just be in two different levels of wanting to be in a relationship. In 2016, I want to be able to be by myself and be happy with where I stand, because maybe that's where God wants me to be. Maybe I need to wait and see just who God truly has for me, because me trying to find someone on my own clearly hasn't been working. I also need to realize that just because I can't find someone right now that doesn't mean my standards need to be compromised for anyone who isn't on my level.

Wow, you never really think about your whole year until you have time to write it all down. For those of you that have made it to the bottom of this letter, thank you for reading. I am praying that I can maintain a level of excellence in my life and that I only continue to grow as a person in God's Will. Stick with me, because I think my posts are going to be a lot more meaningful in 2016


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